Five More Days...

Only five more days of working two jobs...

Only one more presentation, one 8-page paper, and two final exams...

Only seven days until I move into my parent's house for a month...

Only five and a half weeks until I board a plane to France...

I am excited, but the excitement is bated by a sense of - what is the word? STRESS. I can feel joy once I get through the last few school assignments of my Bachelor's degree. Pretty soon, I'll have a lot more time on my hands to be more creative with, to blog, play video games, relax.

My Mom and I are planning on doing a detox while I'm home. I'll probably even have time to do yoga! Although I may be getting ahead of myself here.

The persistent beat and dry feeling of this song capture the feeling of my life at this moment:





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On self identity

After making a rash decision to skip my entire day of classes, watching this video on what it's really like to move abroad, and hiding like a scared hedgehog under my comforter all day with Bath & Body Works holiday candles filling my room with nostalgia, I've realized something.


You can't expect the future to fix you. Moving to Versailles is not going to magically solve my issues with laziness, my fear of putting myself out there, or my frequent lack of passion.

Living in France seems extremely romantic, but it's really no different than living anywhere else. Wonky old buildings, cobblestones making walking a balancing act, and fresh bread everyday would make anybody's life seem full of charm and inspiration... For a while. Especially when compared to boxy American suburbs and road rage and oversized portions at restaurants.

Certainly, a change in scenery will do me a lot of good, not to mention the presence of a certain Swedish lad* in my everyday, physical life; but I must remember that I cannot DEPEND on the romanticized visions of these things for instant happiness. Happiness must be grounded in reality and close to loved ones, happiness is being adventurous, and feeling proud of oneself. Happiness is a series of choices and it's in my grasp.



*Erik and I have been in a long distance relationship since January, after having met in Paris during my studies abroad.


Find me on Instagram at FrenchCalifornian